Friday Focus: Building Self Esteem

'To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are' Anonymous

Following on from last weeks post about positive thinking, looking at how we perceive ourselves seems like an apt progression. Self-esteem and self-confidence are the building blocks of attracting positive thoughts. So how do we feel about ourselves as people and what do we base our perceptions on?

Self-esteem can vary from person to person dependent on external factors such as if they have a successful career, to how they look to whether people like them or appreciate them. If any of these external factors shift then a persons self-esteem can be hugely affected.

To build self-confidence you need to create a positive self-awareness. In last weeks Friday Focus I asked you to list 10 things that you like about yourself and concentrate on them. Beginning this inner dialogue about who you are and what you have to offer the world is not an easy task but it is essential to define your own empowerment and strength. By taking an inventory of your strengths and abilities you can see what you have to offer as a person and you become at peace with who you are - but this does not mean that you are unable to see your weaknesses - it simply means that you can accept who you are and that you like the person that you have become. You are unique, special and valuable and you deserve to feel good about yourself.

If there are issues that you don't like about yourself, tackle these problems head-on - but be realistic. If you want to lose weight for example, set goals and challenges, plan in advance and record your achievements. Celebrate each target that you hit and write down how you feel - this really helps. See the Clean 9 detox for a fantastic solution to help you move forward. 

Overall, we all have our 'down-days' and our self-confidence may not be sky-high from one day to the next. If you can feel your emotions becoming out of control; one way to rebuild your self-esteem is to regain control by learning how to manage your mood effectively. See my 5 simple tips for lifting your mood!

Friday Focus - Allow some time for yourself this weekend. Treat yourself to whatever you choose. It could be a few minutes of relaxation time, reading a chapter of a book or even having a cup of coffee in a pleasant place - take some time out!

Wisdom Wednesday

Being Happy and Staying Happy

We all need a kick-start at times. Life isn't always easy and everyday isn't a breeze and sometimes we need a helping hand to pull ourselves out of a mood dip and to get ourselves back on the right track.

For the last two weeks I've been ill, run-down, working practically everyday, looking after my son on the days I'm not working, putting a huge amount of pressure on myself for not having the time to complete jobs that I should in normal circumstances have time to do - domestic and professional - and to be honest; I have felt as though I couldn't see a way forward.

There was so much that I wanted to do and so much that I couldn't; but I realise now that I had been extraordinarily hard on myself at being unable to complete these tasks.

I am in general, a pretty positive person. I see 'can-do' solutions to solve difficult problems, put a light-hearted spin on heavy situations and try to see the good in people even if others can't - I write about positivity and about inviting positive choices into our lives through implementing healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. So you would think that I would be able to find it easy to put my own guidance into practice and live my life by these rules?

With hindsight; this week was cathartic. I had, let's call it an 'epiphany' - and decided that I needed to break the self destructive cycle which was taking over my thoughts and actions. By inviting a positive and rational process into my thoughts and by eradicating all of the negative 'can't do' 'can't cope' attitudes and obstacles that seemed to pile up in front of me I began to move forward. The clouds began to lift as did the huge weight resting on my shoulders and the week which stretched ahead didn't seem too bad - or daunting - after all.

5 Simple Tips for Lifting Your Mood - 'Let's reach those goals!'

1. Go easy on yourself. Be realistic and take the pressure off. Lengthen a deadline and make things easier!
2. Create a diversion and help someone else. I have never walked away from a charitable act feeling worse. If we can provide assistance to others we are capable of helping ourselves. 
3. Take small steps. Things take time. Break down a task by completing parts of it in bite size pieces. Write down your goals with 'mini' goals in between. As you work your way through the list and tick off each completed task; things will become more manageable. 
4. Repeat your mantras. Seems ridiculous; but by creating positive thoughts you will spur on positive actions; self-belief is essential to get to where you want to be - create a mantra to keep you going. It be anything from 'I can do this' to 'today will be a good day'. It really works to pick-you-up when feeling low!
5. Celebrate your achievements. We have all achieved things in our lives which we are proud of no matter how small. Write them down to remind yourself that you have made yourself and others proud. Focus on the good things, people and experiences of your life and build a 'can-do' mindset to reach your goals and overcome those mood dips!

Wisdom Wednesday

Friday Focus: Positive Thinking

'A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty' Winston Churchill 

I am going to use that 'Friday feeling' to bring a positive outlook to my blog and to use that as a feature every Friday. Today is seen as a good day for many - the end of a working week, the start of a free weekend to spend with friends and family or just two empty days to fill with as much (or as little) as you like!

We all face challenges in our lives that make it very difficult to remain positive sometimes - but if we look at these challenges as obstacles that we can overcome - it can make even the hardest times a little bit easier to work through. Positivity doesn't come naturally, it is something that we choose to be. If you look at situations in a negative way, this encourages a train of connected negative thoughts, excuses and reasons why we can't move forward and places blame on why a certain situation has happened.

It is simple; everything happens - not ominously, for a reason - but because it just happens - and it is up to you to choose how you feel about it. 

If you're tired of feeling worn out, miserable, angry and upset with people or things that have happened - let's try to stop that cycle and change the way that you feel. You need to look forward and rid your life of the negativity that surrounds you. Negative thoughts don't just attract negative situations but they also attract negative people. No one is perfect, and that isn't what we are striving to achieve, but you need to begin to rid your life of the negativity that surrounds it.

Negative thoughts trigger negative behaviours - your triggers could be alcohol, food, shopping - all of these behaviours mask things that we may not want to face in life. They 'gloss over' a situation by making us feel better. But for how long does that 'good feeling' last? Take a step back and examine which behaviours in our lives are good for us and which are not. Think about how you feel when the euphoria of experiencing your trigger wears off. Guilty? Angry? Resentful? Upset? You can learn from these negative experiences and turn them into positive experiences by replacing them with things that make you feel good.

Be kind to yourself; boost your self-esteem by learning to accept the person that you are inside and out. If you can identify things that need to change - you can change them but be positive about how you look and how you feel and try not to be overly critical. Be honest with yourself and steer clear of the negativity. Remember a positive outlook is a choice that we can make.

- Friday Focus - List 10 things that you like about yourself and concentrate on them. Define what integrity means for you and begin to reclaim it - Start the weekend on a positive note!

Why Drink More Water?

Water may not be the most exciting drink... sometimes I prefer a gin and tonic! To be honest many of us drink it out of necessity rather than because we enjoy it. But as roughly 60 percent of our bodies are made of water should we be more mindful as to how much (or little) we are drinking? And does it really matter - and can it make a difference?

HEALTHY BODY: Keep Things Running Smoothly: Drinking enough water helps to maintain the body's fluid balance which helps to transport nutrients in the body; it is also essential to regulate body temperature by keeping us hydrated and aids the digestion of our food. Get Rid of Toxins: Our kidneys rely on fluids to flush away what we don't need - their job is to rid our bodies of any toxins and water helps them to do their job efficiently and effectively. Drink Yourself Skinny: Water helps you to feel full and aids weight loss - it is essential to 'up' your water intake when embarking on a weight loss or detox programme to keep you on the right track. Water also helps to burn fat by promoting the breakdown and elimination of fat cells at an increased rate. Drink a glass of water at least 30 minutes before a meal to suppress any cravings and control meal portions.

HEALTHY MIND: Focus: Water keeps you refreshed and alert; boosting your brain function - if you feel tired there is a good chance that you could be dehydrated. Because I'm Happy!: Research indicates that even mild hydration can impact on your mood cognitive function; keep hydrated, keep smiling! Simple!

LOOKING GOOD: Love the Skin You're In: Water improves capillary blood flow which promotes healthier and younger-looking skin. It also replenishes skin tissues, moisturises skin and increases elasticity. A dull, lacklustre skin tone can show that you are not drinking enough of the good stuff!  Keep it Fresh: Bad breath can be an indication that you may not be drinking enough water. Wash away food particles and bacteria with water to dilute the promotion of oral bacteria. Try to drink a glass of water before and after meals and snacks.

So how much should you drink? Experts recommend drinking between 8 and 10 glasses of water a day to maintain good health. As an added plus - it contains no calories, fat, carbohydrates, sugar and is FREE!

Don't like plain water or want to make it interesting?
Check out the fabulous website www.infusedwaters.com for some amazing ideas. This website ran by water enthusiast Amy Pogue; who is on a mission to give plain water a tasty spin using fresh, natural ingredients is full of refreshing inspiration!

Wisdom Wednesday

It's been a planning kind of day... and I suspect it will be a planning kind of evening...